Disagreeing At Work
If you want to communicate better in a challenging situation, this blog may help you?
I saw a client today who wanted to be able to debate cleanly. She said that whilst she remains calm while she tells a colleague what she thinks, they sometimes become angry and their relationship suffers as a result.
We initially had a conversation about what she could do differently as she was struggling to find a strategy that she was happy with. I asked if she would like to practice a suggestion from me.
I suggested that the next time she wanted to have a conversation with her colleague about something she could begin with "what do you think about x? I suggested listening hard and asking probing questions to understand their perspective, then to ask clarification questions to check her understanding before confirming that she understood.
We spoke about it being easy at this point if she agreed with her colleague. But what if she disagreed?
I suggested that she say "I understand and can see where you are coming from. I actually think y, because of a, b and c (rationale).
We explored understanding vs agreeing. We also explored how understanding another's perspective before sharing what you think allowed you to consider that first and perhaps even agree with aspects before being understood yourself - hopefully!
I will let you know how she got in a month's time when I am seeing her next.
For help, support and guidance with your personal and professional challenges please contact me.